The good, the bad, and the rest

Would you like the good news or the bad news first?

The good news: I am getting more hours at work! Yay! Finally some initiative is being rewarded. I couldn't be more thrilled. I am going to have to learn medical billing, but at least I get one more day a week, which might classify me as "full-time", if not, I just hope I get a raise. At least I better get one. I will be the only one in the office doing literally everything beside the diagnoses. I file, answer phones and other front office stuff, as well as back office; i.e. injections, vital signs etc. Now I will be the biller as well. Wowza. That sounds like a whole lot of work.

The bad news: My doctor's appointment. I thought I was losing weight, and doing such a spectacular job. I was wrong. According to my doctor's scale over the course of three months I have only lost three pounds. Total. What sucks more is that I work out compulsively. I work out 4-6 days a week. Not to mention I fit clothes now that I hadn't before. I just keep thinking it might be muscle mass. But that is what a fat girl would say. LOL Not to mention my blood sugars aren't that great. (If I lose 50 lbs, I dont have to take my meds any more, yay!)

Also, still not pregnant. :-(

Good news: Josh is going back to school to become a paralegal. When he does, we're going to buy a house!!!!! YAY. I hope for a 3 bdrm, 2 bath house, in Stead (outskirts of town). Cross your fingers for me.

Again, still not pregnant. It's getting more than depressing. It's stressing me out. I just want to cry when I think about it. On a side note: Josh told me he likes the name Anthony for a boy. I told him I would compromise for Antony. (After the son of Cleopatra and Augustus Ceasar). We had our minds set on Abagail, or Lucy for a girl, but that might need to change.

Bye.

When friendship reaches it's end

So, finally a curveball has been sent my direction, and I am praying for a positive outcome. However, another ball has been sent my way that I had not asked for.

I have a friend. One that had a crush on me, but I informed him of my significant other and whatnot, and thought I had put an end to it. However, even if I was single it would never ever work between us. He is far too religious. I mean, I believe in a higher power yes, but he believes anythign and everything a priest says and will sacrifice himself in the name of the lord. Honorable, in a way.... crazy too.

Anyway, I thought I had established the line between us. That he was a good friend. Maybe a best friend even.

As fate would have it, he misread me.

Last time we hung out, he wanted to "cuddle" which is fine in some cases, but I told him I would rather go out. I just was not comfortable with that.

Then we were IMing, and as I end my messages and voicemails I ended it with "goodbye love, kiss kiss." "love" being a nickname, and "kiss kiss" being my usual goodbye. He sent me back. "I want a real kiss."

I responded promptly with, "um....no."
He sent back, "Don't promise things you're not going to do." BOOM, BAM, WAM.... that was the line crossed right there. I sent back a thorough letter outlining our friendship, informing him that I was not going to do anything with him that would jeopordize my marriage, and "kiss kiss" is not a promise. I also asked that he not lose my trust, because he won't be able to get it back.

I think now, "kiss kiss" will be out of my "goodbye" from now on. Although, he was the only one in creation to take it personally.

Working hard or hardly working?

I find myself doing the same thing over and over again, hoping life will throw a curveball in my direction. At one point, I thought it had.

Work never changes.

I do the same thing over and over again. I come in at the crack of dawn, file, file, file, answer the phones, file, file, file, eat lunch, fax, and call patients. Its minesquile, and dull.

I thought getting my degree in the medical field would be more.... rewarding. I thought I'd be saving lives where it seems I merely tell them they can't talk to the doctor and the next available appointment is 6 months out.

I was thinking of a career change. Maybe law. I just hope it would be a great career move. I think I could get a great job as a paralegal. Or what about med school.... become a doctor. Nah. Vet? Nah. Nurse? Possibly. I think paralegal will be a great choice.

Everyone wants to become a nurse or doctor, because the medical field is an excellent choice, just because EVERYONE is doing it, there are no jobs, so law seems like a logical second choice.

We'll see.